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If you are looking to plan a low-stress, drama free wedding here are three things you'll need to get under control from the beginning: only one person can lead, too many cooks spoil the broth, and dissension and backstabbing are out completely . Unfortunately, when a lot of people get together to plan a large event, there is a tendency to have personalities collide. This is not just two people getting married; it is two families getting together. In order to avoid shouting, name calling and hard feelings, you will need to know what to do from the start.

Gaining control and maintaining control can sometimes be a challenge. If you have two sets of contentious relatives, you are going to need to set some ground rules in order for everyone to get along. If you can, pick two of the most neutral people in the bunch to be your second-in-commands. However, make it clear to both of them that this is yours and your husband's special day, and you do not want to have it ruined by needless drama. Each of them will communicate with you, and you, as the bride will talk with them first. Ideally, you will already be friendly with one, and you will want to build friendship with the groom's person.

When it comes time to delegate duties, talk over and agree with each of your seconds what needs to be done and who you think would be a good person to accomplish it. Ask their opinion and reach as much of a consensus as you can about the choices. While this may take a bit longer in the short run, in the long run you will be decreasing tension when you open it up to the general meeting. You will also have at least two people already in agreement who can present your case to the others who trust them. You keep ultimate control over what needs to be done, delegate to each of your seconds and, in turn, re-delegate to others in the group.

This may sound like a high-level diplomatic mission, and in a way, it is.
Let each side know, as politely as possible, that you want to meld everyone together for this special day, and have your seconds let folks know that this is about the bride and groom, and not about the personality conflicts of those helping to celebrate this union. If you follow this advice, you will go a long way towards avoiding personality and cultural conflicts that generally arise when stress levels rise.

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Source by Jody Calhoun