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After ten years and 400 weddings as a Catering Manager/Wedding Coordinator for a high end, exclusive resort, I have compiled a list of the questions you, your family and fiancé should be asking the facility when you book your wedding. Just listen to the “Dear Abby” of weddings, and you’ll have the day of your dreams.
Now, brides and grooms, I know you are still basking in the glow of your romantic engagement, and by all means you should be and CONGRATULATIONS. You’re ready to start your life together.
It is a daunting task deciding where to have the wedding, what color scheme you’ll have, who to stand up with you, what food to eat, but the most important thing to remember is this: IT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY, ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DAYS OF YOUR LIVES. Once the catering site is chosen, the money is paid, the dresses are fitted, flowers chosen, programs printed, please remember to enjoy it, hold hands, kiss all day, dance with each other, look each other in the eye and if a hair is out of place, SO WHAT. You’re in love and joining your lives together for the rest of this time on Earth, so act it, love each other and you’ll have the best day and so will your guests. After all, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LOVE.
With that said, I have a list of questions you should be asking the facility manager when going on site tours, BEFORE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT.
COORDINATING:
Who will be onsite the day of the wedding overseeing all of the details you have so carefully planned with the facility. As the Catering Manager, I worked with the couple and family from the first day to the last day. Once the “proverbial dotted line” was signed, I was always available to answer questions, conduct menu tastings, rehearsals and worked directly with the staff the entire day and evening of the wedding. You want to be certain you don’t have to be putting out your own place cards while your makeup is setting.
CEREMONY:
I didn’t meet a bride out of 400, that didn’t dream about an outdoor wedding in a field, by a lake, near a stream, and I agree it’s beautiful and romantic. HOWEVER, when planning an outdoor ceremony, be very, very certain you have a backup plan that you and your fiancé are happy about. Every bride swears it won’t rain on her wedding day, but guess what? It could, so be sure to ask the site manager to show you the “plan b” location, and if you’re not happy with that, make other arrangements. Every town or city has a long list of churches in every denomination (some non-denominational). If you do not like the backup option at your wedding site, I suggest booking a church. You’ll be relieved you did.
FOOD:
For some, the food is one of the most important parts of the big day. If this is the case, be sure to sit down with the site manager to carefully review the menu and packages they offer. There are usually tiers to select from, and often there is a big difference in the menu items. Before going in, decide what is important to you food wise, this will help cut down on time you spend reading menus because you’ll already have an idea of where you’re going. Ask if they offer complimentary menu tastings. Most good catering facilities will do so once you’ve signed a contract with them.
BAR:
I know, I know, this is one of the big ones. Again, prepare a list of alcohol, wine, sparkling wine that is important to you and your family. Now, please know that you are never ever going to please all 200 guests at your wedding, so don’t drive yourselves crazy trying to guess what Aunt Mary on your 3’rd cousin’s side likes to drink or eat. If you chose the food and drink that you and your significant other love, then you will please 95% of your guests.
Most packages come with a certain number of hours of open bar. Just be clear on what that is, and how much it will be per person per hour to add to your package if you chose to do so. Ask if there is a champagne toast and what kind of sparkling wine (most use) they have and if you can taste it.
STAFFING:
Ask how many servers per guest ratio is standard practice for the facility. A decent industry standard is 1 server per 20 guests. That is just an average of 2 tables per server, which is good. Also you want to know if there will be a dedicated head server for the head table. You want to feel like you’re getting the royal treatment on this important day. A good head server will be sure to be attentive to all of your needs throughout the reception/dinner and make sure you are both eating and drinking. You should never have to want for a thing. Ask if there will be a banquet captain or maitre’d in charge of the staff.
TIPPING:
This is a sensitive are, but an essential one to address. Read your contract to find out if there is an automatic gratuity added to the total of your base bill. Typically this is divided amongst the entire staff. Banquet staffing is paid a very small hourly rate before the gratuity is added. Industry standard is currently 18%. Ask the site manager what their policy for cash tips is. The site manager, banquet captain and head server, at the very least, should be tipped according to the level of service provided. Please never assume that the site manager or head captain make a huge salary as this is not typically the case. They work very hard to ensure a perfect day for you and will very much appreciate you recognizing them for it.
VALET PARKING:
Depending on the location, there is typically bell staff or valet on duty. Inquire if there is a charge for valet parking, and if there is, you may want to pay ahead so your guests won’t incur this cost. You can estimate the number of cars that will attend. It is one thing that your guests will appreciate. They can certainly tip the valet as well if they so desire. You can include that valet service is available and there is no charge in your information letter or response card.
ACCOMMODATIONS:
A majority of couples today are choosing locations outside of their home area for their special weekend. For instance, the bride is from Florida, the groom is from New York, so you both choose Pennsylvania to host the wedding. In that case, you’ll need to give several choices for lodging in the area. In your save-the-date cards and/or invitations include a card listing those choices. If the site location for the wedding is a resort book a block of rooms with them. Try to negotiate a “special” wedding rate and be sure to give your guests plenty of time to book the room. Ask the site manager if a complimentary suite is included for the night of the wedding for you and your fiancé.
AFTER WEDDING BREAKFAST:
When you’ve chosen an out of town location, and your guests have traveled a distance to share your special weekend, it is considerate of you to plan a breakfast the morning after the wedding. Ask the site manager if there is a room you can book to do so and ask to see it. Inquire what the menu choices are. You want to be sure that it is a private room. Often times it is a very affordable addition to the weekend, and you and your families will be very happy to see your guests before jetting off on your honeymoon. A good time to have the breakfast is between 9:00am and 11:00am, running 2 hours. This is early enough for the older guests that want their coffee early and runs late enough for the younger guests that would like to sleep in.
LIST OF QUALIFIED VENDORS:
You and your beloved have likely not planned a wedding before and won’t know where to start looking for vendors. By vendors, I mean photographer, musicians, florists, makeup artists, etc. If it is a good site manager, he/she has likely worked with hundreds of them during their career. What better source do you have than here? Often times, the site will have compiled a list of these vendors to get you started. Please understand that for the most part these are just suggestions and the site cannot or should not take responsibility for suggesting vendors. When you choose a vendor, be sure to interview them, see or hear their work, get references and ask your best source, the catering manager you are working with. You will be happy you did so, and if someone gives you a negative reaction to any one vendor, it is likely true, so go with it if you can.
It is very satisfying to be able to share the knowledge that I have acquired in my ten years assisting 400 couples bring their dreams of a perfect wedding to life. Using my list of questions, bringing some knowledge to your site tours and reading your contract carefully will help you have a wonderful day. Take my advice, do all of your planning in advance, use the best sources, those with experience in the business, assign tasks to your attendant staff, and then JUST ENJOY THE DAY. Don’t stress about the small stuff, let the qualified staff take care of it. If they are a good staff, you will never know or care if something should go wrong.
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Source by Shawn Karner
