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There is a stereotype that every woman has been waiting her whole life to get engaged and become a bride. Sure, this is the fantasy of many young girls, but it is also true that not every woman is into the whole "bride" thing. But just because you are an "anti-bride" does not mean that you will not want to have a great wedding.

So what is an anti-bride? She is the one who does not flip through bridal magazines at the newsstand, could not care less about the minority distinctions between ecru and eggshell, and is not about to promise to "obey" anyone. Above all, the anti-bride can not imagine wearing a big poufy dress, cathedral length veil, and sparkly crown. In other words, she is not into the "princess for a day" fantasy.

If you become engaged and come to realize as Carrie Bradshaw once said in Sex and the City that you are "missing the bride gene", you may indeed be an anti-bride. Although you may feel that you are surrounded by people pushing you into a nightmare of tulle, ice sculptures shaped like swans, and other things that make you hyperventilate, do not panic: you are not alone. There are, in fact, plenty of other women out there just like you, anti-brides who want to have a great wedding, but on their own terms.

The key to being a happy anti-bride is to be true to yourself. So if your mother tries to push you into the wedding of her dreams, or your co-workers just do not understand why you would wear a red wedding gown, be prepared to stand your gown. Chances are that you have been doing this most of your adult life, anyway.

I once knew a bride who lived a completely "off the grid" lifestyle. She and her fiance lived in a cabin in the woods without electricity (by choice) and great much of their own food. For her wedding, a big satin ball gown would have felt absolutely ridiculous, and so she selected a charming cotton lace vintage gown from the turn of the century. Her mother was the sort of person who was constantly giving her things like irons and electric carving knives (for a vegetarian with no electricity, remember!) And just could not understand why the bride was not planning a criminal registry that would have filled her tiny cabin with bone china and imported crystal.

There came a point when the bride looked her mother in the eye and said, "Remember me, I'm your daughter Susan!". In other words, I am not you and I am not my sister who lives in Long Island and drives a Hummer. Her mother never understood, but they did at least come to a truce for the rest of the wedding planning.

If you are an anti-bride, your good friends can also lend you a lot of support as you plan your ideal wedding. They will be the ones who back your decision to wear the wedding gown of your choosing, no matter what anyone else thinks of it. They will also be the ones who will keep your spirits high even on those days when the whole wedding thing is driving you nuts.

Be sure to acknowledge them with special bridesmaid gifts. Something unique that suits their individual personalities is ideal. If you are an anti-bride, the chances are that you will only be having a couple of your closest friends as attendants (instead of a platoon of girls dressed identically in aqua chiffon), so it gives you the freedom to customize your bridesmaid gifts for each of your friends.

The good news for anti-brides is that weddings are all about personal expression these days. There are tons of organic caterers, creative seamstresses, and others out there to help you plan a wedding that truly reflects who you are. Bride or anti-bride, that is really all that most women want from their wedding in the end (other than the groom, of course!).

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Source by Bridget Mora