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My cousin recently lost his wife after she battled a debilitating and deadly lung disease for thirteen years. They had been married nearly 49 years. I just happened to be the flower girl in their wedding. Even though I was very young, my recollection of that special day is vivid in my earliest memories. Our grandmother made my flower girl dress to match the bridal gown. I recall pretending to be the bride, as all little girls do, because I had the perfect dress.

Needless to say, since our age differences, my cousin and I are very close. Our lives have intertwined on a regular basis. I grew up visiting with him often. He entrusted me with babysitting for his children. His youngest daughter was my flower girl in my own wedding. My sons were ring-bears in his children's weddings.

My cousin was a great support to me through important events in my life. He was the first familiar face I saw in the crowd when performing at dance recitals and half-time football games. He made his way to the football field to give me a hug when I was crowned Homecoming Queen. He was the first to visit me in the hospital when I gave birth to each of my children. He patently explained illnesses and growing phases my children were experiencing, as well as giving me advice during the painful, but necessary break-up of my first marriage. My cousin was the first to offer support and empathy when my father, his uncle, was stricken with and succumbed to cancer within a short two-month time period. His comforting words and actions have had an impact on my life even today.

It is because of these things that I want to honor my dear cousin this particular Memorial Day. I remember accompanying my cousins ​​and their mother to the cemetery where my grandparents and uncle are buried and placing flowers on the gravesites, so I considered giving my cousin an arrangement of freshly cut flowers in a reusable vase. However, I decided the floral arrangement, though beautiful, would not be meaningful enough. And, with his wife no longer here to replace and replenish flowers for the vase, it would find a home in a box in the basement, forgotten and unused.

I also considered giving him a journal so he could record his deepest, private feelings. I've heard that by putting your thoughts on paper, it helps with the grieving process. He could also use this journal to write about his daily activities involving other family members and friends, to help him realize that we're involved in his life and care about him as he has cared about all of us in the past. Although I, myself, would enjoy such a gift, I realize my cousin probably is not quite ready to put his feelings on paper. It would still be too emotionally painful for him to do so.

After searching a while longer, I finally found the appropriate and memorable Memorial Day gift to give to him … an Italian charm keychain. My cousin and his wife enjoyed a lifetime of happiness each and every summer at their favorite lake house, so I chose meaningful Italian charms representing the wildlife from that place which his beloved wife adored. I filled his Italian charm keychain with charms consisting of a frog, a hummingbird, a deer, a butterfly on a wildflower, a turtle, and a Jesus fish. He can be reminded of their happy, healthy times every time he uses his keys.

I am very pleased with my decision to give my dear cousin a meaningful gift this particular Memorial Day. It's just a small way to remind him how very special he is to me and to let him know he's in my thoughts, now and always.

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Source by Laura Weaver