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I do not care what anyone says. Weddings are about marriages and not about brides. The star of the wedding ceremony and the reception is the loving relationship, not the wedding décor. You want to look fabulous and feel fabulous, but you have a hard work to do that day. You're saying yes to sharing your life with this perfect partner.
If you keep your focus on the relationship as the source of the wedding (rather than vice versa!), Your wedding ceremony will be deeply personal and meaningful and your celebration will flow easily and naturally from your community's excitement for you. It can be easy to miss this boat, however, if
- One partner plans the wedding . I'm not quite sure how the wedding as a woman's divine right occurred. I know it does not help wedding planning. It stresses out the bride, or the partner doing the planning. It excludes the other partner and it lets that partner off the hook for investment in the relationship that will grow out of planning the celebration of your marriage. This wedding is for both of you . If one partner can continuously slough off with an "I do not care about that," bringing the conversation back to, what would you like it to be? What would make you care about your wedding? And then? Find those things that he or she will care about and do them. Plan it together. Figure out how to grow some balance. After all, you're going to be with this partner forever, the planner does not want to do all the party work for the rest of his or her natural born days and the plannee should not get to sit on the couch or do her / his nails for the rest of the marriage.
- You talk about nothing but wedding planning . You got engaged and you immediately settled down to talk about the day. All day and all night long, it's the wedding channel at your house. It's exciting, but not that exciting. And what are you going to talk about when the wedding's over? Make sure you've got a night or two off a week, or at least a couple hours a night, where there's a mushroom on wedding chatter . One of the things that is exciting about watching Michelle and Barack Obama These days is to have a couple who models a sincere interest in one another. Every time you see them together, they're talking to one another. You can see they're interested in what the other is thinking. (And make sure, as you're doing your wedding planning that along the way you're planning your wedding ceremony and wedding vows. That at least keeps the focus on the relationship.)
- You do not nurture your relationship . It's so easy to think, oh, it's just a few months and then we can get on to the marriage. But it's actually dangerous to set precedent for making excuses to not spend time growing the marriage. You get out of the habit of caring for one another. I've worked with a lot of couples who are overstressed and over-extended. They have no sex life, they have no cuddling. Everyone has time to go to the gym because they want to look good at their wedding, but no time for sweet togetherness. Do not do this. Have at least one date a week that is unbreakable . Cook dinner together, even if it's popcorn. Get one another's wine or beer. Light a candle. Ask one another about their day and their life. You can do nothing as long as you do it together. Keep building toward your marriage. Because the wedding is really only one day out of your life. Your marriage is forever.
Make sure as you're doing your wedding planning that you're also doing relationship building. The work you do will be visible in the way you act toward one another at your wedding and through your marriage.
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Source by Ann Keeler Evans
