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Plenty of people come from big families, but that does not need to mean that the want to have big weddings. There can be many reasons to keep the celebration small, including cost, wanting an intimate feeling, or just good old stage fright. When weddings in your clan are usually large gatherings, it can be hard to trim the guest list without hurting feelings. These are some suggestions on how to pull off a small wedding when you come from a large family.
The very first thing the bride and groom need to do is start spreading the word that they are having a small wedding. It is vague enough that you do not need to immediately define what small means to you, but it puts the idea out there that maybe not all of the usual suspicions will be invited to attend. So when the bride first becomes engaged and relatives call to congratulate her, she should be sure to slip a comment into the conversation about wedding size. It could have something like this: "Thank you so much, Aunt Trudy. Brian and I are thinking about having a small wedding sometime next summer." Just start dropping those hints out there so so that people will not be shocked when the guest list is finalized.
Speaking of the guest list, the only fair way to cut back on family is to create a set line about how related someone must be to make it on the list. The exact line will depend on just how large the bride and groom's families are and just how small they want their wedding to be. So it might be that first cousins are invited, but no extended family beyond that. Or maybe you need to limit the list to just immediate family, like parents, siblings, and grandparents. Another option is to have an adults only wedding, with no children under 18 on the guest list. The important thing is to stick with your guidelines and make no exceptions. People might not like it, but at least they will see that the rule was fairly applied. If you let one second cousin onto the list, excluding the others in that category is more likely to be perceived as a personal insult. Believe me, people will notice!
A destination wedding can be one of the best ways to have a small wedding when you come from a large family, especially if most of your family lives locally. While it may be incorporating not to be invited to a family wedding in your hometown, most people get that not everyone will be invited to a destination wedding in Fiji. And if you do invite them, chances are good not everyone will make the trip. If your relatives are likely to all come en masse, limit the guest list to immediate family and a few close friends.
Another way to get out of having a huge family wedding is to have a very intimate wedding, followed by a larger gathering later. The bride and groom can go off and get married alone (or have an intimate wedding locally). About a month later, throw a big bash to which all are invited. The bride can wear her wedding dress and pearl necklace if she wants, or the party can be less formal, with maybe just a pretty sundress and her pearl necklace. You can have any type of celebration or more basically, delayed reception, that you like, from a backyard barbeque to a gathering in an Italian restaurant or a more traditional reception. By including your extended family in this large gathering, you will show them that they are important to you, even if you opted to have a more intimate wedding without all of them in attendance.
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Source by Guy Antonelli
