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People get married for all kinds of reasons, and if you look at the divorce rate, some of those reasons are the wrong ones. If you want your marriage to work and to stand the test of time then you have to get married for the right reasons. If you get married for the wrong reasons, then you will find yourself stuck in a binding commitment without any bond between you, which will make it a lot more difficult to make the marriage work, and a lot more likely that you will be adding to the divorce statistics. If you're not overly certain about each other, here are my 5 wrong reasons for getting married.
Loneliness
While you were younger you never really thought of marriage and the long-term, it was something that would happen one day, but not now. As you get older you see your friends getting married, some of them get divorced and re-marry, some of them stay married, and you remain single. Then your friends start building families and you start to look into the future and it's just you. I doubt that there are many people who do not want to find and be with someone with who they can grow old with. As you get older, unless you are happy with being single then you can become increasingly desperate to find a permanent mate. If you marry the first person that comes along, for the sole reason of having someone to be with, then how do you expect the marriage to work. Two people with nothing between them is a definite wrong reason to get married.
Biological Clock
What an amazing thing to bring a new life into the world, to give that new life stability and a family environment it which it can be nurtured and grow. If you are in a committed relationship and you become pregnant then you can get married now, when you are more ready, or you could remain happily unmarried, either way the child will not suffer. But what happens if you get pregnant from a one night stand, or a drunken encounter, will you really want to get married then? If you want children of your, but have yet to find someone to be with, is it worth having children with the first person that you can, no matter how incompatible they are with you? Having children is a serious thing, and they need to be given the best chance that you can give them, a loving and supportive environment, not a family environment where you have no love, affection, or connection to your partner. Resentment and bitterness between the parents does not exactly create and ideal environment for a child to grow up in. Do not marry because you want the child to have two parents, you and the child could be far happier by yourself.
Physical Attraction
If you are physically attracted to someone, then how wonderful is that, but it's not love, it does not provide the basis for a secure relationship, and it really is a wrong reason for getting married. If you have nothing between you but physical or sexual attraction, then how can you connect with each other, how can you build a bond that will take you through the years? The answer is, that you can not. At some point you will reach the stage where physical attraction is no longer enough, and without any substance to your marriage it will fail.
Leaving home
When I was researching this article I came across this reason, leaving home, the desire to escape your family, and I thought no, certainly not, and then I remembered that something like this had happened to one of my friends. There are two possible scenarios in this category. The first is that you want your independence and want to move away from your parents, if that is the case then why not rent your own place or share with others. Then, an individuals parents could tell them that they were going to have to leave. In my friends, case there was a massive age gap between the two, but his ex's mother was planning to throw her out once she reached 18, she bought some extra time by getting engaged and then they got married. They had absolutely nothing in common between them, they had different tastes, different ideas, and ever she left him to be with someone close to her own age. No matter what your situation, if you do not have any meaningful connection between you, your marriage is not going to work.
Getting Married Will Solve All Your Problems
It will? How? How on earth can marry anyone solve your problems? You may be having problems in your relationship, arguments, constant disagreement, partners anger or abuse. Getting married will solve none of those problems, if anything they will probably get worse, because you are now trapped together and it is a lot more difficult to break free. If things improve during your engagement then you might be lucky, but if things do not improve then call the wedding of or else your life could get worse. If you have insecurity problems marriage can give a feeling of security and safety, but you will still be insecure, only now you will be married to someone who you might not be compatible with which can lead to misery and divorce.
Of all the wrong reasons for getting married, those are for me at least, the worst. You should only ever get married because you know that you are ready for it, and it is something that you want to do with all your heart. Do not get pushed or bullied into marriage, because if you are not sure of your feelings for your partner then it could lead to misery and resentment. When you get married the whole relationship dynamic changes, it's like you are starting a new relationship, because now you need a greater degree of commitment, and you can no longer just walk away. You need to be able to communicate with each other, you need some kind of common ground, shared values, you need to have friends and have a shared vision of the future. You need to be able to deal with the good times and the bad and be able to offer your unquestioning support to your spouse. If your relationship has nothing of this, then whatever the reason you have for getting married, it's probably the wrong reason for getting married.
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Source by Michael Finlayson
