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"Marriage is not what it used to be".
That is what most people, especially in the westernized nations, would certainly agree on. The fact that divorce is so readily resented to when things 'get tough' is an an indication that the so called Marriage Vow does not carry the force that it used to.
Historically, the force of a vow carried with it the common belief that if broken, an individual's life (and even soul) would suffer some kind of dreadful 'kick back' or damnation from a betrayed Divine being. In our arguably adolescent western ethos, such common paradigm is treated with disdain, specifically because of the obvious negative and 'parental' message that 'divine retribution' carries with it.
In reaction to that obviously less than helpful attitude, the westerner exercises his or her right to relinquish earlier vows when a marriage stops working, or ceases to have the meaning and significance that it originally had.
Similarly with the traditional notice that marriage is 'sacred'; It is generally considered that the term 'sacred' is highly subjective, questionable, and even negative. The same kind of association is being made with the vow concept. The word 'sacred' is at worst a means of social control; By making something sacred, controlling authorities can determine human behavior 'for fear of divine retribution'.
But is something being missed by our secular, large non-religious, modern society? Are we throwing out the 'baby with the bath water'?
I suggest for a moment we rip terms such as 'vow' and 'sacred' from their common (and potentially no longer accurate) meanings, and re-link them to their most original terms. Surprisingly, these most ancient and original definitions may be more pertinent in modern times.
The original meaning assigned to the word 'sacred' can be traced back through the Anglo-Saxon and thethen to the Indo-European root meaning "cut away" or "cut apart (from the mundane)". So in strictest terms "sacred" is something that is kept away from usual things.
The Latin root of "vow" is to pledge, (Indo-European 'to speak solemnly') or promise.
So, putting the two together, it could be argued that a 'sacred vow' is a promise set apart from the usual.
I have been conducting non-denominational wedding ceremonies for three years to date, in the region of Southern Thailand, as a freelance Master of Ceremonies. By having no affiliation to any religious doctrine or order, I have been able to observe and feel what a marriage vow means to modern westerners without the burdens of religious presuppositions or interpretations.
Just two people standing on a tropical beach in paradisical surroundings, making a promise to each other, outside of the realm of their ordinary living circumstance (geographically) and day-to-day things and activities.
The root meaning of the word 'paradise' is also very relevant here: Again, there is the root meaning of 'set apart' or 'partitioned off'. Hebrew word for 'orchard' or 'garden'. Appearing as the original 'paradise' or the 'garden of Eden'.
I have noticed that it is an almost biological need for humans to go to a special place to make a special promise of commitment to each other. In Krabi province, The natural surroundings of high limestone karst cliffs, clear sea, and an island setting (geographically 'sacred') is the most popular choice. People like to get married on islands!
In conclusion, I would argue that the recent trend towards 'Tropical Paradise' weddings is as true to the original meaning of 'sacred vow' as it has been since humans elected in societies (or even proto-societies).
If anything, the more universally understood and felt meaning of the sacred context and making of vows has been sort of 'purified' and released from any and all presumptuous claims of ownership by any religious doctrine or institution.
I would contend that now is the time people want to be unfettered from the stuffy and stony ritualism of the old orders, and summarize replace those relics with the 'thing' itself: That which Is sacred, and that that set apart context, a promise made that – by virtue of being 'in paradise' – will not be broken (or even touched) by events and doings of everyday life, no matter how impactful or consequential within their own mundane domain.
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Source by Andre Decio
