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Tradition holds that it is unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding gown before the ceremony. However, more and more couples are bucking this custom. In some cases, the groom even gets to help pick out the bride’s dress! This got me to thinking, just how much say should the groom have in selecting the wedding gown?
A generation ago, even the bride did not have that much of a say when it came to the wedding gown. Ask most brides who were married in the 1950s or 60s how they chose their gown, and they will say, “My mother picked it”. This is how Jackie Kennedy, a woman known for her love of clean silhouettes ended up with a poufy bridal gown covered in adornments. Of course, these days, the influence of the bride’s mother has waned considerably, with most brides selecting their own gowns, and often paying for them as well.
However, brides do love opinions, and as their mothers have become less influential in the wedding planning process, the groom has taken on a greater role. This is true across the board, and sometimes is true even when it comes to the wedding dress. In my many years of working with brides, it became more and more common for the groom to accompany his fiance to shop for a wedding gown.
When the young couple is paying for the wedding themselves, they will need to come up with a detailed budget. This means that even traditional brides who intend to keep their gowns a surprise until they walk down the aisle may still have to allow the groom a voice when it comes to the price of the gown. Now personally, I frown on this, because most men have no clue about how much it costs to look fabulous, but in the interest of fairness, if joint funds are being used, the groom should probably get at least some say on the appropriate price range for the bridal gown, veil, and handcrafted bridal jewelry. Of course, if you do not want your fiance to have even this much influence on your gown selection, you might want to set aside your own separate funds beyond the general wedding budget so that you can spend whatever you feel is necessary to get your dream gown.
It is very important to most brides that their future husbands will be wowed by them the moment that they walk down the aisle. To this end, they are often very nervous about picking a gown that he will like. One way to get some input without giving everything away is to ask him his general likes and dislikes about dresses. Of course, you may not get very far with this, because a lot of men do not have strong opinions when it comes to ladies’ fashion! But if you think about it, you probably have a pretty good sense of his taste. Does he always compliment you when you wear a certain dress? Then you can use that as your jumping off point.
For those who are very concerned about the groom loving the wedding gown, the final step is to actually take him dress shopping. To be frank, I am not a big fan of this, as I think that it takes away from the bride’s big reveal on wedding day, but more and more brides do choose to go this route. This is especially true when the couple is assuming joint responsibility for the purchase of the gown, and she wants to make sure that he is happy with their investment (particularly when the gown is a costly designer one). I suppose that one advantage to this approach is that when the groom goes shopping for a gift of handcrafted bridal jewelry for the wedding present, he will know what will look best with the gown.
Every couple’s wedding is unique, and each bride and groom have to approach the wedding planning in a way that makes sense to them. For couples who are used to sharing everything, it is not so surprising that the bride would want her fiance’s input on the wedding dress selection. As long as it works for you, it is fine to let the groom have a say in the bridal gown.
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Source by Laura Firenze
