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Since the day I announced that I am engaged, people would always ask how am I feeling now that I am about to get married. Most of the time, my initial reaction is I just smile and would say excited. But honestly, I can not determine my true feelings toward this big day. Happy, excited, thrilled, scared, lonely, anxious … too many emotions happening at the same time.

Happy because it is one of the greatest thing that will happen for my whole 30 years of existence. Our relationship is a classic example of people meeting unexpectedly and falling in love immediately. We met in a place where we both visited for the first time in a country where the two of us are both are foreign. And if not with because of a strange girl who bumped or pushed him himself, he might not have accidently joined my circle of friends. And who would have thought that we would be spending the whole night together talking, dancing, and enjoying ?! One can consider it as a whirlwind romance because after that night, we were inseparable. And after two and a half years, we have finally decided to tie the knot.

Excited because for someone who has not been in relationship for a long time, I have finally met someone who I will be sharing my lifetime with. I am excited to know how it feels to be welcomed by your beloved every time you come home from work. I am also looking forward to having a family.

Thrilled .. As a wedding planner, I am thrilled to plan and arrange for my own wedding. I have been designing weddings for friends and clients making it very special, so this time is my opportunity to do it for my own special day. I am planning to have a sunset wedding in a nice beach resort mostly with family members and very close friends … small yet intimate.

Scared .. sometimes when it crosses my mind that being married also means a lifetime commitment, I feel worried that I might not be able to cope with everything. But I still believe that as long as we have each other, we can overcome whatever struggles and challenges.

Lonely because as an only child being married would also entail that I have to leave my dad. Since my fiance is a German national working and living in Japan at the moment, our plan is to stay in Japan until his contract is finished and then move back to Germany. Meaning, I have to leave my dad and my relatives in the Philippines. Luckily because of modern technology, I would be able to see and talk to them everyday and can visit home every great chance that I can.

Anxious … as a wedding planner, I know that there are still a lot of things to prepare for my wedding especially that it will be happening in 2-3 months. And because I am working on weekdays, this lessens my time to attend to my wedding preparations. During the time that I can not go to the mall to personally scout for things, I use the internet to do the searching and researching for me. Thanks to the vast fora and online stores that give me a lot of ideas on how I can achieve my dream wedding. One of the online wedding store that I like is allforyourwedding especially their themed wedding packages. This serves as my guide and reference as I prepare my own wedding.

For what it's worth, I know that everything will turn out great.

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Source by Anna C Caro