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Now that the wedding date has been selected, are your parents, in-laws and friends driving you crazy? For most couples, their wedding day is something to remember, cherish and reminisce about. For others, it strikes feelings of disappointment and regret, not because of what they married, rather the details of their big day. I highly urge all couples to go for what they want, and not be persuaded by others providing their two cents. Here are some things to consider as you plan you magical day ….

Unfortunately, I know first hand how important it is to choose what you really want and not settle. As a new bride myself, I can not stress enough the importance of really doing what YOU love for your wedding. Your wedding day is supposedly to be one of the most fun, memorable and important days of your life. Make sure what you're planning is as much for you as it is for those attending it. Many brides get cooked up in delight their family and friends, which can later lead to anger, frustration and disappointment. Here are some tips so that you do not let it happen to you!

1. Choose a location YOU love-Many brides get cooked up in doing what others will like, I know, I am one of them! I dreamed of having a beach wedding in Florida where we now live, but ended up having an outdoor wedding in Toronto where I am from. Why? Because many key family members told me that they could not afford the flight or get time off work. So, I opted for the next best thing. That 'next best thing' has lived to haunt me a bit. Our wedding was lovely and it was still outdoors so I can not complain. We also tried to create a minor beach theme at the reception with shells, sand, candles and the like but it was not the same thing. In hindsight I should have done the beach wedding. If people can not make it, they have to understand that that was their choice, we can not please everyone.

2. Adore your Dress- Okay, so that $ 3,000 dress you have been eyeing in the magazines is not going to fit your budget. Whatever your budget is, make sure you love your dress. You'll be wearing it in every photo and it is the most special dress you will ever wear. There are lots of great options 'off the rack' which are simply dresses in a particular size that do not have to be ordered but are selected off of a rack. Try on different styles, colors and designs. What I thought I would wear looked far different on me and was not complimentary. Variety is best here. Know exactly what type of detail you like on dresses. Are you traditional? Do you like simplicity? I can not stress enough to try on as many dresses as you can in different shops until you find the one. This is kind of like shopping for a house, you do not know what is out there until you look. Do not be like me and buy the second dress you try on in one store. (I thought it was the one only because it looked good and it was 65% off, now every time I look at my photos I wish I had something something else. dress captures who you are and what you love.

3. Bridesmaids Gowns-This is a touchy subject. Most brides struggle between having the girls wear what they have selected and allowing them to choose so they are not cursing you on the wedding day. Let's remember that the wedding is about you and your fiance. Guess what? That means you have the freedom to choose what works best for your wedding. Perhaps you can provide the ladies with 6 or 7 options of colors and styles that you like. I rounded everyone up and we went to the bridal boutique. I knew the colors I wanted in the wedding. In the end, the color I chose looked great on all 3 girls. I did let them try on several styles so that we could agree on one dress. They all had different favorites though in the end I chose a halter style, which was opposed to what I was going to be wearing. This is the only day you get to pick everything-go for it!

4. Parents & In-laws- Just because our parents have raised us since little girls does not give them the right to plan out our wedding, unless we desire that. Your parents might tell you it is there way or the highway since they are paying. You and your fiancé have to decide if you are willing to have a wedding that is not yours but paid for, or one that that is all your own where you foot the bill. Remember when the wedding is paid for it usually involves inviting several people that you will not know, as they are family friends. Ask yourself if you are okay with that. I was fortunately not to be in this situation, however I had the opposite scenario where none of my family helped with the planning process which was equally as annoying! I did receive some financial support which came in handy but planning it all on my own with some execution from my bridesmaids was super stressful. Talk with your fiancé and decide what you want before the planning begins. If in-laws to be and your own parents get crazy, let them know you'd like to plan it on your own. Then, get your closest friends together to pitch in.

5. The Date- If you have already picked a date and have realized it is too far out or worse, coming up quickly and you feel overwhelmed simply change the date. Personally my fiancé and I lived in different countries so we were going for a wedding 3.5 months after the proposal. It was very overwhelming but we made that decision as to not continue being apart. I look back and wish I had more time but under the circumstances we made the best choice. Weather can be determining factor too, fall in Toronto can be beautiful but cold, so since we got engaged in May I had to draw the line at September lest my guests freeze outside. Consider weather, season, holiday dates and of course how elaborate the wedding will be. If you are having a simple wedding, a few months is realistic. If it is more elaborate involving an outdoor venue etc…I suggest giving yourself somewhere between 6-12 months to plan. Even with a wedding coordinator, it is still you that selects all the colors, flowers, centerpieces, ideas, venue etc. They just just co-ordinate it all for you.

6. Fabulous Flowers-You can save money buy buying realistic looking artificial flowers that will not wilt. Not only will they look perky in every picture but they can be kept afterwards. You could choose to have a real bridal bouquet and let the groomsmen, bridesmaids and other attendants wear the faux flowers. Once you start shopping you'll see that flowers are very expensive. I would suggest one other thing-make sure they are what YOU love. Do not skimp and buy carnations on the cheap. Perhaps you could ensure that at least your own bridal bouquet be what you love and select a beautiful yet inexpensive bouquet for your maids.

7. Cost is Key- If you start out planning a $ 20,000 wedding and it quickly balloons to $ 40,000 you will be frustrated and frantic. My husband and I decided on a budget that we edited a few times to include everything we wanted but it was all done on a budget. Whatever you do, negotiate! We saved several thousand dollars because we negotiated hard on the price of the venue and food. That allowed us more money for other items like flowers and the cake etc. Here is a tip-we saved several hundred dollars by getting a fake cake bottom with real top. This sounds strange but it looks just like a custom made cake but only the top portion is real. We were still able to cut the cake and feed it to each other and keep it for our first anniversary, we just just did not serve it to our guests. Nobody missed out since since we served a wonderful dessert with dinner and had a sweet table filled with fruits, sweets and chocolates. I can be a waste of money too-how man desserts can one person eat. The cake often gets left uneaten anyhow. We clipped the stems from real pale pink roses and stuck them in the top of the cake and press them into the sides of the other two layers, which looked gorgeous. Just have someone return the fake cake bottom for you.

One thing it true I will insure you, if you go beyond your budget you will feel strapped for money after the honeymoon, you'll be fighting over money and over who let the wedding amount climb so high. These are all very non-romantic things to worry about later. After the big day is over you do not want to be left with months or years of debt. This is not a fun way to start your life together.

I hope you found these suggestions informative. I included my personal input as I wished I had had someone share some of these tips with me. Even though I did not have exactly what I wanted for every element, one thing is for sure-I did choose the right man what I adore and cherish! He (Paul) now officiates awesome, creative weddings for couples in the Central Florida and surrounding area. Visit his site at http://www.itietheknot.com/ .

I think it goes without saying that no matter the size of the wedding, who is there or what your cake looks like-DO MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON! One day of fun does not make up for a lifetime of unhappiness. Be joyful and enjoy the planning as much as the end result of the big day.

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Source by Karla M. Davis