So many wedding-planning books revolve around the bride — but it’s the groom’s day, too! The new book, Stuff Every Groom Should Know by Eric San Juan addresses the wedding (and marriage) from a male’s point of view, offering essential advice for grooms-to-be. Here, he discusses how to cry “like a man.”

Despite what those beer commercials tell you, men cry about more than a poorly cooked steak. If ever there’s a time when tears of joy are warranted, this is it. Here’s how to let the waterworks go while retaining your manhood.

Photo Credit: Tye and Emily Photography

Embrace your joy.
Your eyes are welling up because you can’t believe you’re actually marrying this amazing woman. Allow yourself to bask in that feeling.

Let those tears come.
Tears are brave. Wiping them away before they trickle down your cheek is unbecoming. Let ’em roll!

Stay mum.
Avoid talking if your voice is going to crack. Pause for a moment to compose yourself. Man tears are awesome. Squeaky man voice, not so much. If you can, sneak off for a glass of water.

Dab, don’t rub.
Use your best man’s handkerchief to gently pat those tears. Rubbing will redden your eyes. Above all, avoid the honking nose-blowing.

Allow others to witness it.
The hallmark of a real Man Cry is being unashamed in the presence of others. When people see the happiness streaming down your face, they’ll think you’re an awesome husband — because you are.

Snap out of it.
If you really can’t stop sobbing, visualize something totally un-sad to get yourself back in the game.

Plus, check out 45 Emotional Grooms’ Reactions

—Eric San Juan