So many wedding-planning books revolve around the bride — but it’s the groom’s day, too! The new book, Stuff Every Groom Should Know by Eric San Juan addresses the wedding (and marriage) from a male’s point of view, offering essential advice for grooms-to-be. Here, he discusses how to mix and mingle with all of your guests on the big day.

Photo Credit: Blue Dahlia Photography

If you’re a natural politician type, this part will come easy. But if you weren’t born to press the flesh, we have bad news for you: a not-insignificant amount of time on your wedding day will be spent making small talk with people you won’t see for another decade or more. You can’t avoid it — you’re half of the star of the show. Here’s how to survive.

1. Some couples have a greeting line on the way into the reception hall, during which they offer a personal hello to everyone entering. Do this — it’s the perfect way to get all your hi-and-thank-yous over with in one fell swoop.

2. If your better half is the charming one, let her take the lead. Most people are more interested in the bride than you anyway.

3. A few short phrases to memorize: “Thank you for coming.” “We’re so glad you could be here.” “Enjoy the party!”

4. Circulate early. The cocktail hour is the perfect time to do a quick circuit of the room, saying hello to the aunts and uncles and distant cousins you never see. Everyone will want some of your time; give it to them early.

5. Remember that you have a built-in excuse to exit a conversation early. You’re the groom! “I should really make my way around the room” is always a legitimate reason to move on.

6. If mingling makes you nervous, consider setting up the reception with a “sweetheart table” for you and your bride, and stick close to it. Allow your guests to come to you. (Just understand that they will. In droves.)

7. Have backup. Have your mother with you as you circulate among her side of the family. Let your best man be your wingman one last time as you work the crowd. Or circulate with your wife on your arm so she steals all the attention.

8. Bring a prop. Even something as simple as a drink in hand can offer a much-needed distraction. If you’re getting antsy, “I need to go get a refill” offers an instant escape that no one will question.

—Eric San Juan