We know you can’t wait for your wedding day to arrive — envisioning the first time you see your groom, your first kiss after you proclaim your vows and your first dance as husband and wife. Your transition to newlyweds will be filled with more milestone “firsts” that will strengthen your relationship. Here’s how to prepare yourself for all the celebrations (and challenges) that you’ll face together down the road.

1. Your First Epic Fight

Photo Credit: Punchstock Photography

Why It’s Big

We’re not talking about being snippy, here. This is The First Big Fight, the one where you scream, slam doors, and even throw some plates against the wall. You’re angry, scared, and feel on alone. Fights like these can burst your newlywed bliss bubble — you’re not in wedding fantasyland anymore. You’re in a full-out battle over something trivial, like your husband dumping a skillet into the sink, covered with caked-on scrambled eggs. But it’s not really about the eggs: The fight is about pent-up frustrations, including leftover wedding stress, money fears, and adjusting to living together.

How to Deal

You’ve had arguments before, but you may have noticed that this one felt different; more charged, somehow. Chalk it up to being a learning fight, one where you’re doing the good work of marriage, learning how to argue more productively next time. Avoid red flags (phrases like “you always” and “you never”) and bringing up old points of contention just to weaken your partner. Whatever you do, don’t jump in your car and speed away—testing him to see if he’ll chase you — or launch into round two when he’s on the ropes. That old adage is true: People don’t remember what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. Just go to your separate spaces, unwind a little, then tell your partner you love him, hate fighting, and you’re sorry if you hurt him.  

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