Picture this: Your wedding day has finally arrived, and you’re at the reception, thanking everyone for sharing this special moment with you. A guest proposes a toast, except instead of concluding with raising his glass, he somehow ends up down on one knee, producing a box from his pocket. Shrieks ensue when he pops it open, and guests realize what’s going on. Be honest — how would you react?

The following photo posted on Reddit of a guest popping the question to his girlfriend at someone else’s wedding has elicited a firestorm of wrath online. (The bride might be smiling, but her eyes betray her true feelings!) Judging by the comments section, this cringe-worthy scenario happens more often than you’d believe.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Etiquette expert and editor-in-chief Diane Forden, shares three things anyone must do before they even think about putting a ring on it at someone else’s party:

1. Clear it with the couple first and if they are in any way hesitant then reconsider (if they politely say, “Well, OK,” then that’s not a good sign). We bet that if you follow up a few days later with just the groom-to-be, then you’ll find out how his bride-to-be really feels about it.

2. If the couple agrees and is excited about it, then it should be done at the very end of the wedding, perhaps after the bouquet toss or just before the last dance. That way, the proposal won’t “steal the thunder” from the newlyweds.

3. Feel out what your intended’s reaction might be. Solicit a little help from her friends and have them bring up this Reddit photo in conversation so that they can suss out how she responds to the idea. She might think it’s fun and romantic. However, if she proclaims that it’s awful, and she would prefer for her own proposal to be more intimate and not associated with anyone else’s happy occasion, then scratch the idea entirely.

Vote: Is it ever socially acceptable to propose at a party when you’re not the guest of honor?

— Stefania Sainato