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Proposal? Check. Ring? Check. Tell the families? Check. Ok, lets get married! Well, not quite. Now is the time to consider who you want standing next to you on what could be the most important day of your life. You may be the bride and groom who have known since you were five, who it would be. His best friend since Little League. Her college roommate. His brother, her sister. You might want a big wedding with six, or more, on each side. Or a smaller affair with two witnesses. Whatever your cup of tea, choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen can be daunting, and can lead to tricky situations.

Fallacy # 1: YOU MUST INCLUDE YOUR SISTER, BROTHER, COUSIN, AND NIECE JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY.

The people you choose should hold some significant place in your heart. Who you choose should know, love, and support both you and your spouse-to-be. They should be people you trust, and with what you want to share this special occasion.

Fallacy # 2: YOU MUST HAVE AN EVEN NUMBER ON BOTH SIDES.

I once went to a wedding with six bridesmaids and seven groomsmen. When it came time for the recessional the last bridesmaid was flanked by two groomsmen (both were significantly taller than her, and practically charged her down the aisle!). She may have a core group of four friends who have all been in each others weddings, and he may simply want his older brother next him. However mismatched the number, there is always a way to make it work. If you are appalled by the idea of ​​uneven sides per one one can scale up instead of asking the other to scale down. Another option would be to find other special jobs for the reminder (ie greeting, toasts, emcee)!

Fallacy # 3: BRIDESMAIDS = FEMALE & GROOMSMEN = MALE

As we continue to break down traditional gender roles in society everyday so should the prehistoric rule of same sex attendants be broken. The newest Patrick Dempsey movie, Made of Honor, due to theaters in May 2008, depicts just that. Dempsey plays the best friend of a bride-to-be and she asks him to stand with her on the special day. If the grooms best friend from Little League turns out to be Amber, or it would mean the world to the bride for her cousin John to take his place on the bride's side, then so be it. Traditions are nice, but being comfortable and happy counts most.

Fallacy # 4: YOU HAVE TO HAVE KIM, LISA, KATIE, MARY, TRISTAN, MARLEY, NIKKI, SUSAN, MIKE, BILL, JOSH, DANIEL, CHRIS, COREY, BRIAN ….. BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THEIR WEDDINGS!

It is wonderful that you were able to be there to support your friends and family on their wedding days. And now they can return the favor! But only if you want them to! Just because you have been in what looks like a million weddings, does not mean that you owe it to the former brides and grooms to invite them to be in yours. You should be comfortable with your choice and should not feel obligated. I'm sure they would love to be a part, but they should also understand your need to include those to what you feel closest.

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Source by Daniellle P