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You've set the date, and now you're in the planning stage. Before you make an announcement about your wedding, it's a good idea to have a general plan of what you want to do. Still, you may find yourself with many people who want to help or offer their suggestions on how things should be done.

The Guilt Trip

It may start with the very first steps of planning who will be in your wedding party. When I planned my wedding many years ago, my mother adamant that my nephew should be in the wedding party. He was her first grandson and the new "baby" in the family. He was very cute, and the challenge was that his second birthday was exactly one week before our wedding. I first said no, it was not going to happen, he's too young. A few weeks later, she came back with "you know, your brother is really hurt that you're not having his son in the wedding." While I love my brother, I was still worried that he just might not be old enough. After much thought, we decided since we had two flower girls, we would let him be the ring bearer and put him between the two girls to walk down the aisle. And then I told my mother if he caused a scene, it would be all her fault! 🙂 As it turned out for us, he did a great job. He got very shy when he came out and saw the people and walked all the way down the aisle with his head hid behind his sister's arm. Still, it worked.

The Bartering Trip

Then there are those who will try to barter with you. It goes like this: Well, if we can not have this color of dress, I really can not be your bridesmaid because that color does not look good on me. You want your friends in your wedding, and yet you do not want them to run the show. Bridesmaids can be a challenge if you are not prepared to stand up to the notification that you have to please everyone. In this case, it's important to try to involve them. It's also important when you're picking your bridesmaid dresses that you try to find something that will look good on everyone you plan to have in the wedding party. In the end, however, do not give up on the things that you've dreamed about for your special day. There may be times when you have to say "I'm really sorry you feel that way" and move on to a Plan B.

The Guests Who Must Bring Additional Guests

When you plan your wedding and your reception, one of the first things you have to do is decide how many you will invite. That is largely determined by what you want it to be and your budget. If you invite singles, it's important to note on their invitation "… and guest" if it's okay for them to bring a guest.

If you are marrying in a culture that's different from your own, this one could come into play without you knowing ahead of time what the "orms "are. With my wedding, we were married in Barbados. As I began to gather my checklist for seating for the reception, I asked my husband to be "who is this person on your aunt's list?" He had no idea. He called her, she told him. He hung up and said "it's their taxi driver." Really? I asked "Do you know him?" No. So, WHY do we have to add a seat at our reception for him? For them, that was a norm. Their driver was simply included because he was bringing them and was not going to be leaving and coming back later. So add the seat we did.

For those times when you're asked to add someone and it's just not possible, be prepared to be firm and say no. Remember, it's your budget and you have to stick inside what you can manage. Many times a caterer plans for a bit of an overage when planning food. If you know what this is ahead of time, that will help as well. You might want to plan to have a few extra seats at a table for those who just show up unannounced.

The Divorced Parents and Blended Families

This can be a challenge if the parents are not friendly. Ideally, both want something good for their child and will agree to get along for the day. If you have a challenge with this, plan separate seating. Plan a time when you are taking your pictures to have one part of the parents there, then let them retreat to the reception area and take pictures with the others. With the right planning and coordination, and sometimes a reminder to everyone that it's your day and after they want that day to be special for you, you'll find a way to manage this one.

The Most Important Thing

The most important thing in dealing with people trying to take over the plans for your wedding is to remember that it is YOUR day. YOU are the one who needs to be happy with the day. Be firm in what you want to see, if you can compromise and want to, do that, but in the end, be sure it's a day that you will enjoy and remember forever.

Are there any other challenges you've seen in your wedding planning in dealing with difficult people or situations?

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Source by Kathy A. Miller