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It was scary enough to give the Best Man speech at my buddy's first wedding but 13 years later when he asked me to do it again at his second wedding I started asking "Why me Lord". I mean when you're in your early twenties and you're asked to give a wedding speech you really do not know what to fear. You can make a wreck of it and the excuse will just be chalked up to inexperience.

Perhaps just as important is, in that first wedding most of the guests were in their early twenties as well. They're young, having a good time and wrapped up in the idea of ​​true love that lasts forever so regardless of what you say they've already made up their minds that the couple is a perfect match and this is going to be a heck of a party.

Then this thing called life starts changing everyone's idealism. Thirteen years later and it's a much more mature crowd with not so many starry eyed idealists. Thirteen years later and you are speaking to a group that is going to be more critical. Sure they're happy for the bride and groom but if you mention the word "forever" in your speech, you will have lost all credibility.

So how do you prepare for a second wedding speech for the Best Man?

Sit down with the Groom and ask him if he has anything specific he wants said. More likely he will have things that he specifically does not want said. If he has kids from the previous marriage is it OK to mention them or keep them out. If, and this happened once, the former spouse is now a good friend and attending the wedding, do you mention her?

• What kind of wedding will it be? Often times second marriages are less conventional and more informal. Try giving a speech on a windy beach with no microphone and you'll understand the importance of this.
• How long should it be in terms of time?
• How many people will be there?
• If you do not know the Bride, get a couple bits of information from the Groom or Maid of Honor that you can use in the speech.
• Part of the duties of the Best Man is to toast the parents of the bride. Think back to the first wedding where your buddy fell in love with that nice Hungarian girl whose last name was Csizmazia. Picture yourself lifting the glass and saying "Here's to Mr. and Mrs. Uh, er, ahem, Sizemazia (I hope).

There's more to the planning obviously but but I hope this gives you a few tips. Do not forget, it's a real honor to be chosen Best Man, particularly the second time around.

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Source by Bill J Gordon