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Whatever the wedding you are planning with your beloved is not your first one, or you are marrying someone who has been divorced, there is a chance that there will be children from your first marriage present. This can present a bit of awkwardness insofar as there is no real prescribed method for wedding ceremonies that involved blended families. This can actually be something of a blessing, however, due to the fact that now you can write the traditions yourself! If you are planning a wedding, there are certainly ways to go about including the children from former marriages.
The first thing to do is to make sure that the wedding is not a complete and total surprise for your children; they should be told as soon as you are sure and you should take the time to speak with them about it. Children are a lot more aware than most adults think, and simply being honest and upfront with them can go a long way. Make it very clear that they do not get a vote, but that their happiness is very important to you. For the most part, the thing that will make children the happiest is seeing their parents happy. Involve your children in the wedding planning from the very beginning.
When large changes are happening, children can feel very helpless and nervous. If the child is not included in planning, in some cases this can result in problems all across the board. If you are addressing invitations, for instance, have them help put on the stamps or seal them. Including them is a great way to make them realize that they are not powerless and that they have a hand in the way things are going to happen. This is also a good way to connect and to make sure that they feel that they can talk to you. While it's typical that children take up roles like flower girls or ring bearers, there are actually quite a few different bars that children can play on the big day.
Take a good look at what your children are capable of and see what they are willing to do to help. You'll be surprised how often your children are willing to step up and help out. There are many different things that they can do to help, both during the ceremony and at the reception. Perhaps they are interested in passing out wedding favors, or maybe, if they're older, they can help usher people to their seats. One nice touch is to let your children be the first to sign your wedding guest book. This lets them know that you value their attendance and want to hear their good wishes. Take some time to explain this tradition, and tell them about how you are all starting a new part of your lives.
Working a blended family into your wedding day is far from being a nightmare; use this opportunity to let your new family work together and grow together, even as it is getting started.
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Source by Leah H Fairman