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In the United States, nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. With statistics like these, couples who marry and want to remain married should take precautionary methods to avoid unnecessary turmoil related to divorce. Experts suggest that the divorce rate is high because couples do not adequately prepare for marriage or they marry for reasons that are not sustainable long term. Couples who are getting married should consider the following tips before marriage.

Identify Your Goals for Marriage

Determine the goals for the marriage. Write down your expectations for marriage to determine if they are congruent with your partner. Be completely honest with your expectations. This will avoid disappointment when your spouse does not agree with one of your requests. If there is something that you desire in a relationship, you should express this prior to marrying to avoid all confusion. Do not wait and expect everything to work it out after you are married. Though you have a 50/50 chance for success, it is quite a gamble to expect your partner to comply with a request that is not in his or her personality before the marriage occurs.

Know Your Partner

Some people marry individuals knowing that they have major character flaws. These individuals expect the spouse to change after marriage. Although love can heal many wounds, it is important to know whether or not the person you are marrying is abusive, a philanderer, a spendthrift, a tightwad, a member of an extreme religion or possesses unusual child rearing principals. Though in some cases “opposites attract,” there must be a mutual understanding between the partners to determine if the other’s point of view can be respected.

Compromise and mutual respect are important in relationships with cultural or personality differences. These two attributes will help the couple navigate differences in a reasonable manner. Abuse, however, is an uncompromising attribute in a marriage.

Discuss the Major Events

Couples lives must be congruent in some respects. If you desire to live in small home in a remote area and your spouse desires to live in a mansion in a posh neighborhood, there will obviously be some conflict. If you desire three kids and your spouse desires none, this is also a source of conflict as well. If your spouse loves to spend every dime he or she has and you want to plan for retirement, then the two of you also will have a source of conflict. If your partner enjoys partying all night and this bothers you, you will be in conflict about this also.

Determine your lifestyle choices and make sure you agree with your partner on major issues before deciding to marry. Otherwise, you will set your marriage up for failure.

Consider Pre-Marital Counseling

Counseling is considered taboo among many cultures. Many think counseling is only for the clinically insane. On the contrary, counseling may help people avoid rash decisions or help couples make decisions based off educated studies. Counseling is a way to conduct a discussion with a trained, unbiased professional leading the way.

Trained counselors will help potential married couples identify their expectations in marriage and set goals about how to reach those expectations. Counselors may make recommendations about whether couples are compatible for one another and whether their disagreements are workable.

Do Not Expect Every Day to Be Perfect

A couple getting married should strive to make most days of their marriage strife-free. Couples are inundated daily with stress and grief from outside sources such as work, co-workers, finances, family and friends. Your spouse and marriage should be a safe haven. Though some couples swear by the “fight and make-up cycle” of marriage, this is not an ideal model for marriage. Strive to make the relationship strife-free while remaining skilled in negotiating and navigating a disagreement, if necessary.

Be prepared to handle all obstacles that may be hurled at you during your marriage, including infidelity. However, do not go into the marriage expecting to cheat or be cheated on. You will spend most of your time preparing for imminent demise, instead of enjoying the person as an equal spouse. Spouses that are constantly following their spouses to check for infidelity and other suspicions never truly enjoy the person’s company. These types of spouses are always suspicious and casting doubt on the marriage. Conversely, spouses should not be naive. Always prepare for infidelity or other major problems, such as major illness.

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Source by Jack Medlin