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"Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence." Vince Lombardi
Imagine this; you've been asked to be best man at your best friend's wedding. You feel ecstasy, pride, and all the other emotions that go with it. You've never felt better.
A few weeks after being asked, the huge responsibility of the best man position dawns on you and nerves take over. You soon realize that not only will you have to be the groom's rock, making sure he's fully supported through the wedding preparations, but you've also got to think about the best man speech. Suddenly you break out in a cold sweat and your legs turn to jelly. You realize that you've never spoken in front of a large group of people before and you do not even know where to start.
In this article I'll go through some sure fire tips and techniques to make sure that you give a wedding speech which the bride, groom and the wedding guests will remember for years to come.
1. Pre-plan your speech
I know it's tempting to start writing your speech straight away. In my experience this is where most speeches fall over. What you need to do is find some peace and quiet and jot down some ideas (also known as brainstorming). This is where you write down everything about the bride and groom (good and bad) that you can think of. Do not worry if it does not make any sense, it will not do just yet. It also does not matter if the points that you've written down are not in the right order. We'll be taking care of that in the next section.
2. Write your speech
Now you've got everything written down you need to put a structure together. It'll go something like this;
a) Introduction – welcome the guests and introduce the bride and groom, maybe with a compliment. You could even include a joke to break the ice if you feel confident enough.
b) Main part of the speech – talk about how the happy couple got together, what they love about each other, what they hate about each other (light heartedly of course), what makes them such a great couple, and finally what you want for them in the future.
c) Close – thank the bride, groom and guests for listening and end the speech. You could also finish off with a joke.
3. Practice your speech
I can not emphasize this enough. It does not matter how good your speech is, if you do not practice and feel comfortable giving the speech it'll show. The guests will immediately see your lack of confidence.
If you're not confident speaking in front of people the best thing to do is practice your speech in a room by yourself. I know it's difficult but this will be the first stage of your practice. Repeat your speech over and over until you're happy with it.
The next part is to get some close friends together in a room and to practice your speech again. Do it exactly how you would at the actual wedding. This'll make sure you iron out any problems and it'll increase your confidence no end.
4. Giving your speech
Now, all the planning and practice is over and the wedding day has arrived. The speeches are about to start. You feel confident but you feel nerves starting to build. This is where the final technique comes in to play. It might sound simple but it's a really important one to settle your nerves.
Breathing; have you noticed that when you're nervous you start getting short of breath? This is because your body starts involuntarily breathing very quickly. What you need to do is take long deep breaths. This'll make sure you get enough oxygen in your body which will settle your nerves.
All that's left now is to give your speech – feeling confident and ready to take on the world.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Good luck with your speech and until next time …
Mo Azam
