Life comes and goes in a flash; there are some memories that we want to hold on to forever, and others that we can only hope to forget. But it’s the troubles and turbulence we encounter during our journey that make us grasp on to the things that we hold dearest to us.
My now-husband Brian and I lived only 15 minutes away from one another for years. We probably bumped into each other a few times without even knowing it. We were meant to be but had no clue the other even existed.
We met at a gym and like most good things, it took time for our relationship to blossom. A week turned into a year, where we were already bickering over who was doing the dishes next. One clean dish led to another, and we found our landing spot in South Carolina. On the Fourth of July, Brian proposed, and in our giddy state, we never expected that we would face the biggest test of our lives just three months later.
It started out just like any other week. My job as a personal trainer keeps me extremely busy. I’m constantly going 100 miles per hour and bringing a ton of energy to my work. But by Wednesday, I was feeling off. Every time I took a deep breath, it felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife. I shook it off as a sore muscle and continued with my day as usual — I even bought a new car and trained one of the local tennis teams. When I finally sat down that night, I knew something wasn’t right. It was unlike any other pain I had ever felt before.
Brian and I both shrugged it off and headed to bed, but I woke in agony in the middle of the night. The pain had moved up to my shoulder, and I could barely gasp for air. I woke Brian up and asked him to take me to the hospital; thankfully, it was only two miles away.
When we got there, I told them what my symptoms were. They asked only two questions: “Have you been in a recent car accident?” and “Are you on any birth control?” I explained that I hadn’t been in an accident, but I’ve been on birth control for about eight years. (Disclaimer: I want you to know that these quotes are all according to Brian, because my memory is extremely fuzzy, as I want to preserve the validity of this story.)
They shot me with a blood thinner and gave me a CT scan. After an hour of mild consciousness, my results came back. I was suffering from two blood clots in my lungs, one of which had progressed into a pulmonary embolism. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, they told me that a portion of my lung was dead.
When a specialist reviewed my chart, they told me, “I don’t mean to scare you, but there is no way you should be alive right now.” If I hadn’t woken up that night, I would have passed away in my sleep. “You must have a special purpose in this life,” the specialist added. Brian smiled and said, “Well, we are getting married in a couple of months.” The doctor looked at him, smiled in approval and told him, “God is good.”
Unfortunately, I wasn’t out of the danger zone yet since it takes time for blood clots to dissolve. I spent two nights in the ICU, where Brian never left my side. We fell deeper in love after getting a scary glimpse of what it would be like to lose one another. Thankfully, I recovered, and our story didn’t end there.
I never thought that taking that little pill every morning would almost end my life. I didn’t have any issues with birth control prior to this incident, and it’s also worth noting that I don’t smoke or drink, nor am I overweight.
Now, on to the good stuff: Planning a wedding! From the very beginning, we wanted our wedding to be something out of a storybook, but with big plans came a hefty price. Literally. (A wedding planner quoted us $75,000 for everything that we wanted.) My perspective changed drastically after my nightmare experience. It opened my eyes to what was truly important — marrying the man who never left my side as I lay in a hospital bed for days. Not keeping up with “The Joneses.”
After being released from the hospital, I came to the conclusion that I could achieve everything I hoped for within my $35,000 budget; I just had to take matters into my own hands. I started doing tons of research on different wedding blogs and websites and found Wedgefield Plantation. It’s a stunning wedding venue with live oak trees, and an indoor reception space that was perfect for our blush and gold Southern wedding.
I chose vendors who connected with me on a personal level instead of seeking out the “biggest and best.” Our florist has now become one of our most treasured friends. Our jazz band is local and plays at a restaurant every Friday night. Also, our photographer became like family. Working with them one-on-one, I saw how beautiful the outcome of their work could be.
I purchased a lot of things myself from marketplaces like Etsy. I chose sites where designers and artists sell their personal, one-of-a-kind work. A lot of times, it was cheaper to purchase things myself as opposed to renting it out from a rental company. I got absolutely everything I wanted for the venue, from the centerpieces to our personalized favors. It was ours without spending a small fortune.
My advice for future brides-to-be is this: if you are willing to put in the time and hours, a do-it-yourself style wedding is a great option. It not only makes the day feel extra special and personal, but it can also save you a ton of money. I’m not saying it will be easy or less stressful, but the feeling I got from knowing that all of my hard work paid off was priceless.
My wedding day on April 19, 2015, was everything I ever wanted and more. For someone who almost missed out on this experience, it was truly my perfect Southern fairy tale.
All photos courtesy of Pasha Belman Photography
— Tara Maglio Jacobs
